My name is Matthew Aaron. I used to believe that I was born gay. I lived as a gay man for 10 years. In 1998, I walked away from homosexuality and rededicated my heart and life to Jesus. For the past 19 years I have been sharing my story with everyone that will listen.
I grew up in a Christian home in Oklahoma. I heard the bible preached twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday from age 0-18. I experienced sexual, mental and physical abuse at the hand of family members. My mom was bi-polar, my dad was religious and my brother had issues of his own. I felt different than other boys at an early age. I saw it for what it was. I felt different, not gay. The cultivation of homosexuality in my life was due more to causative, environmental factors rather than genetics. I came out at as gay at age 18. For the next ten years I tried desperately to reconcile homosexuality and Christianity.
It was my faith in Jesus, my continuous disappointment with the gay life and my Biblical belief that homosexuality is a sin, that led to this decision. Romans 14:12 was a scripture that God brought to my mind one day. It states, "So then each of us will give an account of himself to God." Suddenly the wind rushed out of the room and everything I had ever learned and suppressed about God and homosexuality, came rushing back.
The truth is that an LGBTQ+ devoted life is not a life devoted to God. I left my gay life behind, because it is not in God's plan for His creation. God's word calls us to repent of ALL sin. "Repent, then, and turn to God, so that he will forgive your sins." -Acts 3:19.
I write this blog for every little boy and girl wrestling with homosexuality and same sex attraction. I write for parents "waiting" at the end of their driveway for their wayward kids to return home. These writings are the reflections, disappointments and revelations of my journey into gay culture and my desperate fight to leave it behind.