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Every once in awhile I like to have a guest blogger on here. For sure, I am not the only one with whom God is speaking. Today's guest blogger is a guy I have been mentoring at Big Fish Ministry. He's new to blogging and sharing his thoughts on "paper", but he's no stranger to the voice of God. That being said, please enjoy this post from the "pen" of Nick Botero and the heart of God.
My journey so far in the Big Fish house has been great. I have learned so much and have made many good connections. It was after our recent conference that I experienced great breakthrough. The Lord is healing me from things that I didn’t realize were keeping me bound. A few weeks later, Matthew decided to go on a trip to hear from God and God definitely spoke.
Our destination was Lake Okeechobee. I have lived in Florida my whole life, but I have never visited the lake. I was definitely excited. Before we made our destination we made a couple of stops on the way. At one of our stops, the Lord began to speak. For some reason Matthew felt led to stop by some train tracks. The tracks were right next to the end of the road we were on. I felt like God was using this picture to show me where He was taking me. I felt like He was saying, you have reached the end of one path you were on and I am now leading you to a new direction.
The old direction I was on was turning me into someone I didn’t want to be anymore. I was really involved in my old church. I made no time for myself. I was so consumed with titles and what others thought of me that it was taking a toll on my relationship with God. I truly became the typical performance driven person; saying yes to everything and receiving acceptance by what I did for people, not for who I was. I was known for being the reliable and faithful person that everyone could count on. I’m not saying that its wrong to be reliable, but I was afraid to say no. I was afraid my ‘no’ would let others down. The Lord is bringing me to the end of myself; to a new path, a path of freedom.
We continued on our trip and reached our destination. We explored our surroundings and enjoyed the view. Matthew left me at the edge of the lake to be alone and see what I could hear from the Lord. As I looked out onto the lake, it may sound a little cliché, but a lyric from the song “Oceans” by Hillsong kept coming to mind. “Your grace abounds in deepest waters”. The thought of new direction and transition was a little scary for me. I felt like God was saying, I will give you grace to wade into deep waters. He was basically asking me to trust Him as He took me deeper into new areas that I have never been before. He would provide grace if I would step out in faith. I was comfortable where I was before. My comfort zones were keeping me stagnant. I am no longer satisfied with stagnation.
We’ve been reading a book on boundaries. It’s been a hard read for me. I now see that I had very few healthy boundaries. The Lord is challenging me with this whole experience. I know its not going to be easy, but I’m looking forward to where the Lord is taking me.
“Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waves and breakers have swept over me.” –Psalm 42:7
“For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.” –Galatians 1:10