My Church, My Friend and Your Heart

So my friend James is a real God Save the Queen Brit. I worked with him at Sea World for 15 years. We were hired the same year. Over the years we had our share of knockdown, drag out, screaming matches. With his accent his arguing points always sound a bit more enlightened. Then in a few days, we’d both get our knickers unstuck and be on about the business of training animals. Though we had more than our fair share of misunderstandings, we also shared a great deal of laughter. I consider him one of the great takeaways of my Sea World career.   He frequently calls and shares a chat with me on his drive home. I always know James is about home, because Facetime shuts off and Siri quietly displays the words “poor connection”. On the odd occasion when I get to see James again, it’s always with a big hug and grateful heart. He’s one of the most amazing animal trainers you’d ever hope to meet. James also happens to be a carpenter, a barber, a dancer, a pilot, a doting father, and a loving husband to Marie. In the emotional makeup of my life, James is a lifer.   But we’ve experienced a few other “poor connections” over the years.

I remember that there were times James would ask me religious questions. There were times when he stated his opinion about the church. One particular occasion I was eating lunch. I had microwaved my food, sat down at the table and prayed over my meal. When I finished, James looked across the table and said, “Doesn’t He know that your food is getting cold?” I think he then gestured toward the sky. I explained that a 30 second prayer wouldn’t be long enough for my food to go cold. We both had a good laugh over that one.

On another occasion, James begin asking me about my church and what we did for the homeless, the community, etc.. He voiced his opinion that it should be the churches role to help everyone in need. Although I was in complete agreement, I think I went on the defensive for the whole of Christianity. I felt like the church can’t solely be expected to provide everything to everyone. I felt it leaves a wide margin of error for the church to “disappoint” and “disillusion” one more person regarding God.

I am reminded of this conversation with James, because Illuminate Church, my church, is the kind of giving church that James spoke about. Heck, our church even gives out bibles on Sunday if people don’t have one and need one. Our church serves the community and the schools in the community where we are located. We attend homeless food and clothing drives. My church donates a monthly stipend to the ministry that I direct as well. The men and women of Illuminate Church are the hands and feet of God that my friend James was speaking of that day.   Once a year, the women of the church gather together with their friends to collect a bazillion gift cards for a benevolence fund for the following year. One of the ladies at church heads up a coat and shoe drive for impoverished kids up North. When it comes to serving people, we have people chomping at the bit to help.

I have attended this church for the better part of 10 years. What I love the most about the church is that we have a pastor and a pastoral staff that preach the word of God straight from the bible.   You might think, “Don’t all churches do that?” The honest answer would be no. Some are more like bars and restaurants where they cater to what the patrons want. Our church is more like a hospital where the sick come to meet Jesus and those who have been healed or helped are rolling up their sleeves and pitching in to imitate Jesus and be about their Father’s business.

I found hope, healing and community among good Christian men as I was continuing my walk towards Jesus and away from homosexuality. If you have an opinion about church that has kept you away from church, like my friend James, set that aside this week and join us at Illuminate Church. The decision to attend a little church in Celebration, Florida long ago, eventually became a church I have called home for 10 years.

My church is more than just a building. It’s a family of people who make sure that new people don’t feel new very long. My church is a hug and fun fact from my friends Linda and Doug. It’s a word of advice and encouragement from Judy. A worship experience led by people who worship even when they aren’t on stage. We give, so that we can give back. It’s pastors who write their sermons from the bible not from the headlines. It’s a place where Jesus is mentioned frequently and the Holy Spirit is welcome.   If God has been speaking to about church, find ours or start your search for the one nearest to you. Don’t let your emotions cheat you out of what your heart really needs.

Decade of Growth

On the Sunday after the SCOTUS ruling, my pastor at Illuminate Church in Celebration, Florida started off his message with a response.  I wasn't sure what he was going to say, but I knew that it would be well thought out, grace filled and built for the future.  My pastor is Tim Ingram: Husband, Father, Hero.  He isn't the first pastor my church has had.  In fact, illuminate church is not even the first name our church has had.  Two men have come before Tim. Two church names preceded that. I have attended my current church for 10+ years.  Let's just say that my first "set down get to know you" meeting with Tim Ingram wasn't pretty.  I was a bitter, angry little man, looking for someone to blame for the hurt I had experienced at the hand of men in the church.  Tim agreed to meet me at Cracker Barrel.  If it didn't go well, at least I had comfort food to soothe my soul.  He listened to my story, fielded my complaints and answered my questions.  I left that meeting with my explosive emotions defused, because of his compassion, patience and kind heart.  My language that day was not becoming of a Christian man.  I might have even caused a few sailors to blush.  I wasn't concerned about how he received what I had to say that day.  But in all honesty, isn't that what hurt does.  It sears our conscience and leads us down a path of destruction.

The truth was that I just needed to be heard by a man in the church.  I needed to know that someone, anyone still cared that I was in pain.  I didn't need him to fix anything for me, I just needed to be acknowledged.  Tim showed me the grace and peace of Jesus that day.  I left our meeting knowing that illuminate church would be my church home and that I would follow Tim as my leader.

So many names come to mind when I think of the men at illuminate Church who have shaped my life as a Christian and as a man.  Joe Saragusa, my first pastor in Celebration.  He told me that if I had a dream for ministry to the gay community, his dream was 5000 times bigger.  Garret Balcitis, a youth pastor who taught me how to lead kids to Jesus.  He believed in me when I couldn't do that for myself.  Bronson Moore, who loved me through all my many phases and faces.  And though he was younger than me, God used his wisdom to mold and shape my leadership.  Ed Arnold, our Executive pastor who has stood the test of time, loved me when I was unlovable, and who shares his porch, his life, his family and his house with me every time I have a need.  Andre Anderson.  Nelson Deskins.  Bill Nance.  Tears are welling up in my eyes, because the list is endless.  God has used these men to restore to me the meaning of father, brother, companion, comrade and friend.  There was a point where I looked for men in the gay community to complete me or give my life meaning and purpose.  I was always left wanting.  With Illuminate Church, God has answered the cry of my heart for a place to belong, to be heard, to matter and a place to heal.  The men that God has brought through my little church in the past 10 years have time and time again, been the face of Jesus.

I am taking this opportunity to share the message Tim preached on Sunday through the podcast.  At Illuminate church we welcome all types.  Men like me who have left homosexuality.  Men like me who use colorful language a little more than I should.  And men and women, who like me who don't always get it right, but try once agiain each morning with the sunrise.  If you live in the Orlando area please join us at 10 a.m. on Sundays in Celebration, Florida at Celebration High School in the auditorium.  

If you don't live around here and just need a little encouragement, feel free to listen to the podcasts at www.illuminateChurchFL.com