Little Rainbow That Could
Do you ever feel completely lost in the world? Like some outside source has pressed pause on your life, as the rest of the world races about. I am in a Starbucks in Toronto. From Toronto to Orlando, it appears that Rainbow flag manufacturers have been working overtime. This part of Toronto is steeped in gay culture. While some folks are completely at home in such a place, I'm a little apprehensive and to be honest, a little hopeless. There are Canadian, rainbow flags, bank advertisements, businesses and even governmental organizations all proclaiming alliance with the gay community by the simple juxtaposition of their logos with rainbow flags. One ATM stop sported a rainbow bulls-eye painted on the sidewalk and bank building. In order to get cash you had to stand in the center of the rainbow. I thought, how prophetic, every human stands in the epicenter of rainbow-ic influence. It is all around us.
Almost overnight, LGBT influence grew exponentially, after the mass shooting in Orlando. The message of freedom from homosexuality that I preach, was shunned before, but most politely disagreed. Now any word spoken in opposition to the LGBTQ ideology stands a good chance of facing outright, religious persecution. When banks and businesses invest in promoting the gay agenda, they have power to negatively impact the lives of anyone who has an unfavorable opinion of the proliferation of gay influence. Can you imagine the power or the persecution if a bank or business tried to use it’s influence to proclaim the name of Jesus?
What might have initially started out as a push for equal rights has now festered into an all out push for influence, dominance, and ultimately power in the marketplace. Those influencing public opinion from gay circles aren't out to equalize culture. They are out to become the dominate voice in all rhetoric regarding sex, sexuality and religion, stifling all dissenting opinions by whatever means necessary.
Toronto has been eye opening. Yesterday in one part of the city there was a Jesus-fest and in another, people celebrating gay Pride. Interestingly enough, a group of influential people in the city tried to stop the Jesus event, but many petitioned and Jesus won. Imagine the backlash if Christian leaders had attempted to squelch the Pride event?
We are facing a time, not only in our country, but in the world where Christians need to be doing two things simultaneously. We need to be on our knees in prayer for the lost, not just for those in the gay community, but the lost in general. We must also continue to speak the name of Jesus and share our testimonies, despite the persecution. Hebrews 13:6 says "...so that I may say with confidence, the Lord is my helper, I will not fear what man can do to me." Every human needs Jesus. Not allah. Not Buddha. Not Love, Light and positive energy, for goodness sakes that sounds like a description for a new Microwave, anyway. Just Jesus. If we, as Christians presented a more approachable demeanor, maybe the lost would leave their false gods and flock to the voice of the One True God.
Not so many years ago, it was Christians proclaiming their faith in the public sector, while gay men and women celebrated quietly and cautiously in silence. I should know. I was one of those men, scared and afraid of Christians and suffering in silence. Now, many Christians share their faith with great trepidation, as the world proclaims allegiance and alliance with the LGBT gods. No person should cower in fear from another. Neither should the gay community call the stifling of Christian beliefs, tolerance, when their actions are more indicative of a dictatorship.
Christians must bring Jesus to the world in an effective way. The bible says that an effective, fervent prayer will accomplish much. It’s presumptuous to expect the world to come find Jesus where we are. Some of them have been to our churches and for whatever reason have left. Those who haven't been to our churches base their opinions off conversations with unsatisfied, church customers.
Whatever the case, someone has got to swallow their pride and reach over the burgeoning wall that's been under construction for decades. They may steeped in Pride, but we are seasoned with the Holy Spirit. Greater is He is that is in us people, than he that is in the world. Remember? The word calls us to leave the 99 and search for the one. Jesus says, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel.” He never said, fight to prove you are right.
I think of the scripture in Ephesians 6:12 that says "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Satan is the enemy. Humans are affected by the spiritual influences whether they believe in it or not. We believe, so we know how to fight for the lost, even as they hate and disagree with us. They are still beloved by God and so talented and gifted by God.
Even though I feel deep love and pity for my gay friends, I am troubled to see Orlando synonymous with the rainbow flag. It is a Godly symbol that has been hijacked by the gay community and promotes oppression and rebellion, not freedom. My heart aches as a banner of brokenness flies over Orlando. Yet, I am reminded that the hurting and lost need our prayers, not resentment and cold shoulders. My church and others have stepped up to embrace the needs of those affected by the tragedy. A tragedy committed against a community I used to call home. I am grateful that churches are placing value on individual lives. I still have friends in the gay community. I would mourn their loss if they were senselessly taken from this world.
Satan uses every angle to drive a wedge between God and the God’s creation. He uses death and destruction. He occasionally dabbles in emotional manipulation. Ministry to the LGBTQ+ community will look different in Orlando going forward. As a Christian man who walked away from the sin of homosexuality, I am called to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. That gospel calls people to repent of their sin, not tolerate it. For sure I will offend with tales of my journey, though not my intention. The gospel is offensive, because it points out our carnal nature and commands us to live better. When Oprah says live better everyone cheers. Let Jesus speak the same words and people start reaching for their stones. Yet, the gospel can be preached with love and compassion more effectively than with anger and vengeance.
I believe that a time of persecution is coming for Christians in America who speak the truth in regards to all sin. If they would begin to speak the truth rather than slink into silence. God is our fortress in times of trouble. The enemy of God seeks to destroy lives and attack anyone who lives according to the gospel of Christ. God does not leave us hopeless and lost. He sent Jesus as the answer to the question of our sin. He also gave us commandments in his word.
“If my people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and forgive their sin and heal their land.” -2 Chronicles 7:14
Satan Attacks Gender and Marriage
I am not one to don the mask of 'Everything is JUST Fine,' as many in the church world do today. These last few months of ministry have been a real struggle. Finances are consistently tight. As God shapes and molds my character, the stretching heralds the beginning of a new season. I must continually remind myself that no matter how far the world slips away from Jesus, I made a commitment many years ago to be led by scripture and not by my feelings or my homosexual desires. As a rule, I keep an ear to the ground of the gay political scene. Recently, I saw an interesting quote from a gay activist. The quote was in response Kim Davis' incarceration. It read simply, "Don't they know that WE have redefined marriage." To some that may sound progressive and past due. To others, this may signal the coming Apocalypse. To me it demonstrates another example of our spiritual ignorance of God's ways. Man can redefine and has redefined just about every spiritual principle set forth in the bible. That doesn't mean that God has changed His mind. It simply means that us broken humans are getting better at disguising our sin with fancy rhetoric and political correctness. Man may have redefined marriage, but God hasn't and never will. Marriage was set forth by God way back in Genesis as the model of marriage relationships which are between a man and a woman. When God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone, He created Eve as a complement to Adam. That was God's original design and throughout scripture He never saw fit to redefine the marriage covenant, because it was His perfect design. Man is responsible for redefining marriage long before now with divorce, adultery and polygamy. Gay marriage is not the only attack on marriage, it's simply the latest way that broken man has seen fit to alter God's original design. Bruce Jenner is not the Anti-Christ bent on redefining gender for all. He is simply the latest prominent face of man’s brokenness apart from Jesus and a small part of satan's all out attack on gender as God established us male and female in Genesis. Every foundational principle set forth in Genesis is under attack. Satan is trying to change the future by destroying the very foundation of Christian faith as set forth by God at creation. I walked away from homosexuality in 1998. It wasn't that long ago, but it was a simpler time. It was easier to share the testimony of leaving my gay life behind, without experiencing out and out hate from the gay community and Christians. In 1998, Christians weren't as deceived as they are today regarding homosexuality. What I find especially troubling is that the gay community thinks that with each legislative stroke of the pen they are winning victory after victory for equal rights. I have to ask, is it really a victory if God and His word are steadily erased from our lives altogether? If you are here looking for hope that there is freedom from homosexuality, then you have come to the right place. My story and others like it may not be welcome in the mainstream media, but God is still letting people hear our voices on blogs, websites and church stages who still preach and believe the word of God. Homosexuality was never my identity. My identity is in Jesus Christ. The only thing that needs redefining are broken lives with self and not Jesus as the focus.
I am encouraged by recent events of young people realizing that a gay life is a life of deception and sin. I recently had a conversation with a young gay man who says he is a Christian. He says he defines his life like this. He is gay until further notice. If God wants to do something about his sexuality, then God will. Gay until further notice is a statement of hope, because God is in the business of redeeming lives caught in the vortex of sin. God is not willing that any man should perish. I truly believe that God is ready and willing to redeem a gay identified generation from the clutches of sexual brokenness.
I love that we are a ministry that prays for the gay and ex-gay community. I love that God leads men to question not redefine broken sexuality every day. Thank you for praying with us as a ministry. Thank you for caring for your gay children and loved ones enough not to leave them in the hands of the enemy, but to go to battle in prayer for their redemption and release.
Gay Marriage, Krispy Kreme & Freddie Mercury
Hey guess what? Gay marriage is legal in the U.S.. In case you were wondering why every building, cupcake and gigantic Ferris wheel in America was bathed in Technicolor. I write a blog about my gay life, my Christian life and my journey thus far. I am sure that a lot of my readers, all 6 of ‘em, have been waiting to see what I have to say. Rest assured. I always have something to say. I was at a loss for words once. Only once. It was a rainy night. I had been driving along, when suddenly, a brilliant, neon orange, illuminated sign proclaiming, “HOT NOW” beckoned to me. Rushing in to claim my free, Krispy Kreme donut, I was told that the free donut promotion had been…discontinued. I took a vow of silence and fashioned a black, Christian Dior, argyle dress sock into a makeshift armband, which I wore for 3 weeks.
Much like the animals I used to train at Sea World, I have learned a lot from the mistakes of my past. I have learned that my response to the Chick-fil-A scandal of a few years back was hasty; that my agreement with Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty was over exuberant. This time around, with such a hot topic as gay marriage poised and ready to make it’s way down the line, like one of my favorite, fried Krispy Kreme delicacies, I pause for a moment of prayer, reflection and careful thought. I envision a gay community with faces, hearts and souls, rather than the visage of a great, political monster that just pissed me off with “what he had said!”.
If have you have known me five minutes, you know that I lived as a gay man for 10 years. I had an encounter with Jesus. He led me to walk away from my gay life. My friend Sy said this of walking away from homosexuality. “I didn’t leave homosexuality, because I thought it was bad. I left homosexuality, because I found something better.” That something better was Jesus. This isn’t a blog about whether you can be gay and Christian. I won’t try to convince you of anything, but rather I would challenge you to go somewhere quiet, have a conversation with Jesus and give Him the chance to awaken your heart to the truth.
I grew up in the Assembly of God church. We shouted, sang and jumped around. Church services were similar to an Ozzy concert, except we were always angry if the devil showed up. I grew up perceiving that “homosexuals were an abomination” to God. Much like many of my gay contemporaries, I knew at a very young age that I felt different from other boys. In later years I was led to believe that meant I was gay. 30 years later, with tears pouring down my face I would read a very biblical, extremely compassionate document authored by the AOG General Counsel about homosexuality, circa 1979. I was 9 years old. A great and deep ache welled up within me. Questions flooded in. “Why was I just hearing about this now?” “Why hadn’t I been privy to the life giving words of this document when I needed it most?” “Where was this scripture when I was sustaining the emotional blows of the misinterpreted mantra of Leviticus 18:22?” This document had the potential to save me from so many years of heartache and brokenness as a gay man, yet I had never heard of it until now.
I don’t believe that all the people in my church were bigoted A-holes, bent on the destruction of homosexuals. I believe that the real answer was tinged with fear, misunderstanding and ignorance brought about by the enemy of our soul; satan. To the gay community and the Christian community alike, I humbly say this. Satan is the true enemy: not the church or the gay community.
I have known my friend Justin for years. Justin is gay and he is one hell of an animal trainer. He has an incredible heart and a beautiful spirit. When Justin came into my life, he had been with his partner Anthony for 13+ years. What would you think my first assignment from God was concerning Justin? Tell him to repent for being gay? Share Jesus and my testimony with him? None of the above. God simply said, “Love him”. I did a pretty good job. I learned that when you are given the freedom to love someone, you are relieved of the duty of having to “fix” them. When you look beyond a person’s sin and brokenness, you can begin to love them the way Jesus does. Everyone, regardless of whom they choose to marry, has human needs that create opportunities, which allow us to share the love of Jesus, before we ever quote a single line of scripture.
I loved Justin well. When his partnership with Anthony ended, he came to me in tears. His sadness wasn’t my opportunity to speak out against sin. It was a chance to comfort another human being with the comfort that I had been comforted with myself; the love of Jesus. How did I comfort him? I shared about my own breakup with a boy almost 20 years ago. I could speak to my friend Justin from a humble place of familiarity, rather than from the self-righteous perch atop my Ivory Tower.
I believe God has something better for every gay man and woman that far outweighs the expected hopes and promises of gay marriage or even a gay life. There may be victory for the moment, but this win will do nothing to silence the ache of lonely hearts that only Jesus can quell.
I know why so many in the gay community seek to legalize gay marriage. I understand them. I have lived them. This isn’t a blog written by another Christian standing to bash the church. I was wounded by men in the church, but it was in the church at the hands of other men that I found healing and affirmation. I would ask the church at large and the pastors who have been praying vehemently against gay marriage one question: “If you view gay marriage as an event so heinous as to usher in the Apocalypse, do you have something better to offer the gay community instead?” Wouldn’t our prayers for the salvation of lost people have been better than thousands of prayers to stave off a single, inevitable event indicative of the fallen world we live in. If thousands in the gay community knew Jesus as their savior, it wouldn’t have mattered if Freddie Mercury himself resurrected to perform the ceremonies.
I write to the gay community and Christians alike. I ask humbly for your consideration. If you are happy being gay, I won’t challenge you. If you are gay and unhappy, I implore you to add Jesus to your search. To the church at large, I need you to know. I was raised in the congregation of an AOG church, not cooked up in a lab in San Francisco. I believe I was born Artistic, Sensitive and Creative, not gay. To a large extent my sensitive nature was not prized among the men in the church, but was celebrated in the arms of the gay community. Men of God, it’s your role to decide who will shape the lives and destinies of sensitive boys like me: the church or the world.
I responded unwisely and hastily to political shakeups of the past. I don’t want to be “that Christian”. I want to be the Christian whose light shines so bright that the lost are drawn in like I was to the “HOT NOW” sign. I want to impact each person I encounter with a heart surrendered to Jesus, rather than a Facebook page filled with witty rhetoric. I want each person who encounters me to leave loved, affirmed and heard. I want to be a Christian who isn’t afraid to set knee to knee and eye to eye with someone from the gay community or anyone else who needs a little less battle and whole lot more compassion.
Get Outta The Boat Heifer!
Is it me, or does the purple Listerine feel more like battery acid than the other flavors? As I swished it around, I did a double take at the label, searching for ingredients I was certain were in there, like “magma” or “diesel fuel”. Two nights ago, after a very enjoyable dinner with friends, my car decided to die momentarily in the parking lot. It was fixed the next day then the AC, which I had fixed a few weeks prior, went out. Did I mention how much my feet hurt as well?
Time to complain? Nope, time to testify about the peace that God has been granting me lately. The night my car broke down, my friend Luis drove Josh and I home. Problem solved. I was more than a little thrown off course, by the engine malfunction. Why? Well, the next day I had three very interconnected, tough to schedule, but very necessary appointments. You know the ones. If you’re a minute late to one, or something goes awry, the whole day could be ruined. I had from 9 pm at night to 9 am the next morning to sweat, stew and dream about how terrible the next day was going to be. I made it home and when I sat down to worry, a sense of peace washed over me instead. I don’t know that I have ever felt that before. I questioned this soothing, but unfamiliar feeling. There was one other attack that threatened my sanity that evening, yet I couldn’t forget the peace that God has used to cloak my heart.
Our dinner conversation with friends and the next day’s appointments were God ordained moments. The enemy did his best to derail ‘The Mercy Express’. satan launched his attack as soon as he could. God had begun the peace process way before then. Turns out that the repair on my car was covered under warranty. The Listerine just needed a good “shaken not stirred” action and the other two appointments worked out better after the car issue.
Every time I have begun to let doubt creep in, the Holy Spirit has been right there with a scripture. “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.”-- Psalm 37:25. I read this a few weeks ago. Waterfall in the Wilderness Moment! Then today, quite “randomly” I was taking part in the filming of a new Bible DVD series and the guy on stage quotes Psalm 37:25. That peaceful feeling came again, but this time it was accompanied by something else. It was the feeling of knowing and believing that the verse was absolutely and undeniably true. I can’t explain it, but I felt the belief take hold of me like a physical manifestation of truth programmed into every cell of my body.
God is so faithful, even when I rekindle my past. I have been here before: doubt, despair and fear of failure. When I walked away from 15 years of history as a Sea World animal trainer, it was much the same as walking away from 20+ years as a gay man. Both were places of comfort and familiarity. Both met certain needs I had. I had outgrown them both as well. When I stepped away from both I was that “wobbly toddler” taking those first bumbling steps away from stability and towards the unknown.
Peter didn’t just dip his foot in and yell “HEY JESUS! Look at me!” Peter asked “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.” 29 “Come,” (Jesus) said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. “ To do great things my brothers, you gotta get off your lazy butt and step out of the boat. Turn off the TV, quit downloading porn, stop being afraid to fail, begin trusting God and do something with the life that He has so graciously loaned you. Peter's faith started with a desire and culminated in a conversation with Jesus. What is the desire of your heart little brothers? Start your long overdue conversation with Jesus today. Keep your heart and your ears open for His response.
James 1:5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord...
Father's Day Testimony
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A while back I was asked to share a snippet of why I am grateful for my father for the Father's Day message at our church. I asked my pastor if I could share my story with emphasis on my testimony. My pastor said Yes. I asked, "Do you think the church is ready for it?" He said "Yes." I love my church. I love our leadership. I love the people. Praise God that there are still churches where the leaders read and submit their lives to the word of God. Even as the rest of the religious world slips daily into a deadly romance with worldly beliefs.
He Chose Me
2:32 am- I can't sleep. I just wrote to my cousin in Oklahoma. He is much younger than me. We tried to connect once when I was home, but he is gay and I am ex gay and he tells me I treated him like a project in our short interaction. I have since apologized, but we don't exchange Christmas cards yearly. I felt like I was supposed to share my day with him. It was a great day in ministry for me. Skype guy in Alabama: Cry, Pray, Encourage. Skype guy in Kazakhstan:Learn Russian, Pray, Encourage, Rebuke, Love on him. Received a call from a girl I know about a guy friend who is gay and was severely beaten by his boyfriend in a drunken rage. It was severe enough that the guy moved out, closed down his facebook and is searching for God, spirituality or answers now. I received a call to pray about this guy. We'll call him Drew. She didn't call me praising God that maybe through this trauma Drew will turn straight. She called me hoping that Drew will now turn to Jesus. She called me to pray. And pray I did. While we do believe that there is freedom from homosexuality, our prayer and ministry focus isn't "Get 'em Straight!" It's "Get 'em Jesus!". My second call of the day was from a dad who needed some advice about how to handle his son's homosexuality, porn use and lies. The dad had cooked up some pretty dire consequences for the boy if the bad decisions and behavior continue. I talked him down off a ledge and simply encouraged him to love his son in the midst of a situation that the dad doesn't understand. I encouraged him to take the extreme consequences off the table and instead put forgiveness back on it and a little tough love. Whether the kid is gay or straight, porn is not appropriate for anyone at any age. Also hanging out in certain places on the internet where sketchy adults can lurk, whether you are a straight young lady or a gay young man, is not a good idea. At the end of the day, any child under 18 is entrusted to a parent by God. Like it or not kids, the parents are responsible to God for how they instruct and guide you. If you don't like it, McDonalds is hiring and there is a nice apartment for rent next to the liquor store and local hoochie house. As an added bonus, I have another friend visiting from out of town, who I will be watching the sunset with in 3 hours 33 minutes. Once we have witnessed this amazing view that only God could paint, then we will chatting about Jesus and exactly what a surrendered life looks like. I met this kid years ago at an Exodus Conference. I was his small group leader. He started off his introduction by telling me that he didn't like small groups too much. He didn't plan on sharing or talking and that was that. Well the Holy Spirit and I worked our magic and I have had the privilege of pouring into this young man's life for many years now. Praise God!
So that was my day. Better than any dolphin foot push, killer whale waterwork or the applause of the most affirming crowd I have ever experienced. I didn't make one red cent for my work today, but I feel like a millionaire, because God chose me to do this ministry. He chose me to love on gay kids who want out of the gay life and gay kids who don't. He chose me to love on gay couples who have been together 14 years and those who have separated, because they have heard the call of God on their lives. He chose me to share the love of Jesus, where the name of Jesus can't yet be spoken. This is the best life ever. He chose me!
Everlasting Echoes of Truth
I am still in shock about Exodus International closing. One of my students shared his testimony today at Illuminate Church in Celebration, Florida. It was perfect. No one prepped the crowd. He simply told how he had moved in with his boyfriend. Then Jesus led him to the realization that he couldn’t be both gay and Christian. Something had to give. Jesus won out. There were no audible gasps. No one left the room. When Alan Chambers spoke about the role of the church as Exodus closes, he said that churches are now ready to fill the void. I believe my church, Illuminate Church in Celebration, Florida is one of those churches. Are we FULLY ready? No. Are we asking the right questions and pressing in to Jesus? Yes. I spent 20 minutes talking to my pastor’s wife today about Exodus. She wanted to know the what, why and how behind the closing. I gave her a brief synopsis. Then as if cued by the Holy Spirit, she began to quote some of the same ideas and realizations about the situation that God had revealed to me. No organization can step up and do the work the church needs to do and that includes building relationships with the wounded and shepherding them in their walk with Jesus. Then the pastor’s wife asked me a question I could not answer. I know that as a church and a ministry we will one day do our best to answer it together.
“How do we as a church, communicate the love of Jesus Christ to the gay community while still sharing the truth of God’s word concerning the sin of homosexuality?”
We can’t occupy either of the two extremes: all love and hyper-grace or supreme condemnation and fear. There must be balance in our approach, leaving the one size fits all mentality to K-Mart Moo-moos and Cooking Aprons.
I got so mad at Alan Chambers that my judgment was clouded. I didn’t understand. I still don’t. HONESTY ALERT!!! My reaction to the closure of Exodus meant that I had placed my faith and trust in an organization. Exodus had become somewhat of an idol to me. I was angry that there was chaos where there had once been peace. That is when the conviction of the Holy Spirit came in. “God is where you place your faith and trust.” With Exodus gone, I could focus my eyes back on God.
When I calmed, I was reassured in a text from Alan that no matter what we are still friends. Yes, that is right. Alan Chambers is my friend. He gave me my first job in this ministry. He hired me as the Emcee for the 2002 Exodus Freedom Conference. Alan has introduced me to several young men that I have mentored over the years. He has given me advice. We’ve shared more than one lunch at the Cracker Barrel near the office. Alan Chambers has been a hero in my life.
I think of other names around Exodus when I began my walk out of homosexuality. John Paulk and John Smid. John Paulk co-authored the book, “Love Won Out”. He recently came out apologizing for his work with Exodus. It didn’t phase me. Here’s why. John Paulk spoke of freedom from homosexuality and Jesus at a time when I needed to hear it most. Just because he doesn’t believe it any more, doesn’t mean that the truth of God’s word about homosexuality is any less true.
John Smid mentored me at a time when I needed guidance and the viewpoint from a wiser man in this walk. He instilled in me the excitement of a life surrendered to Jesus. Both these guys have recanted most of the statements they made over the last decade, concerning Exodus ministry, but it was too late for me to be swayed by the new “gospel” they’re preaching. They had already led me to the only gospel that ever mattered; the message of Jesus Christ.
My friends, the bible says that if possible in the last days, even the very elect of the Lord will be deceived. Before you point fingers at any of the men above, go take a look in the mirror. You could very well be next. satan is alive and well. He can tempt and deceive any of us. Don’t single out heroes that have fallen, but instead pray for them. Pray for yourself that you don’t fall victim to the schemes of the enemy. 1 Peter 5:8 says it best, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”
Ultimately, it’s the message of the bible, not any ministry that is to shape and guide our lives. Do I believe you can be gay and Christian? I’ll let another one of my heroes, Joe Dallas, answer that question with a scripture he quoted. Luke 6:46 “But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do the things which I say?” Obedience in EVERY area of our lives is the key. Obedience- doing what the bible says is right, even when our heart, hormones and friends try to steer us off course. The bible is not the menu at Burger King. You can’t “have it your way”. A life in Christ is all or nothing.
Pray. They Need Jesus
We all do it. We make up our mind then build a case to support the decision we’ve already made. New car smell is an aphrodisiac to a 20 something guy as fresh, baked cookies are to the 40 something guy. After we get what we want, we realize the thrill of the chase rather than the actual thing was what excited us. Let’s look at Lust vs. Joy. Joy is finding pleasure in things that God provides. Joy waits and trusts for God’s provision. Lust is the fast food, synthetic version of Joy. Lust comes about when we attempt to recreate joy for ourselves. “I want it right now.” “I have to have it.” “I’ll die of I don’t…”. It’s the difference between waiting for sex after marriage or casual sex. It’s the difference between letting God heal your wounds or self-medicating for immediate relief.
Lust was the order of the day for so long in my life. I fell for satan’s traps, because they looked good and they were easier to achieve. Salvation is a free gift, but maturity, breaking bad habits and living a Holy life all take time. The cost is high. The bible says that “bad company corrupts good character.” When we do the right thing, it will cost us the friends and friends with benefits we hold close. It will cost us emotionally and financially. The bible says before we attempt anything, we should sit down and count the cost. It also says we will be persecuted for pursuing a pure and holy life. Jesus was. God did not spare his only son. He will not spare us.
I started reading Job two days ago. There’s a case study in persecution. Biblically, persecution is an integral part of the Christian walk. Knowing this, I cringe when I hear hurting people ask questions like, “How could God let this happen?” or they make statements like “I know God doesn’t want me to suffer.” These are feel good statements, not biblical truths. Scripture says that God isn’t willing that any man should perish, that is why He sent His son Jesus. God is not concerned with our happiness and comfort. If He was, Jonah woulda got a Jetski, Lazarus wouldn’t have died and the woman caught in adultery woulda got an “Atta Girl” and not a “Sin no more”. God’s express concerns are that we know His son and that we love others as we love ourselves. Love is all encompassing concern for the well being of those we care about and those heading towards death. Love is not a “Golden Ticket”, free for all, where we step aside and let sin run it’s course.
The events of the last couple of days are saddening, not surprising. Exodus International closing it’s doors, the DOMA was defeated and California reinstating gay marriage. God isn’t surprised, either. If one of His main concerns is that we know Jesus, then everything else we put our hope in will be stripped away, as God leads us to Jesus. People have been crying out for gay marriage, for years and now they have it. I see it like every other thing we desperately pursue in life. Fulfillment will come for a moment, but eventually people will still have a void in their hearts. They will look for the next thing. Eventually, all roads lead to Jesus Christ, whether we are dead or alive. He is the only one that can quell the aching of our hearts. The void is there to draw us into the presence of God, where true fulfillment lives.
It’s time to stop erecting borders and start building bridges. And way past time to pray diligently, for individuals in your life who are gay or marrying their partners. People who don’t encounter Jesus spend their lives searching for something to make them happy. Let your prayers be lifted to heaven today for your friends and family who are gay. Pray for God’s will in their lives, not their “straightness.” All the other sinners in your life need prayer, too. Hopefully there is another blog for them. God is in the business of redemption. Many of us have walked away from homosexuality. We are not the stuff of legend. The media circus does not speak for us when they say you can’t change your sexuality. We cling to the hope of Jesus Christ for all men and women who want freedom from homosexuality. We profess that Freedom, truly is possible.
Freedom Friday —} Sunday Funday
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About 500 Exodus International Freedom Conferences ago, I thought of a really great idea that lay dormant for years. I began attending the Exodus Conferences in 2001 a few years after I began my walk out of homosexuality. The conferences were well organized and power packed with knowledge, worship and prayer. Yet, there was always one day that energized me. That day was lovingly called “Freedom Friday”! It was the Friday of the conference week. It was nestled perfectly between tough days of learning and teaching, after guys and gals had their minds blown by the informative workshops indicative of every Exodus Conference. Freedom Friday was a day to ponder. FF was a day of rest and relaxation. A day to forget that your heart and soul were hurting in a good way. In a sense, it was a day of rest in between battles for our minds.
A few years ago, Freedom Friday was dropped from the schedule, because of the economy. It made financial sense. It never made developmental and spiritual sense. So there we were, Freedom Friday Free and in need of an outlet. That is when my brain began to churn out ideas. I wanted to do something that would get our Exodus guys out of the house and into the world. Many of the conferences before we had done adventure trips or played sports. All of which were packed with physical activity. My idea was to start an adventure group for guys walking out of homosexuality. I wanted to start an Ex-gay Adventure Group, but I did absolutely nothing about it.
It was crazy, far-fetched and the name just wasn’t too appealing. How exactly does one market an Ex-Gay Adventure Group? I began to come up with names. I finally decided on was XG4 Adventures. It was obvious what XG stood for. The 4 was short for Force. I abbreviated, because I didn’t want to sound like a band of ex gay superheroes. But once again, I did nothing to bring the group out of the pages of my mind and into reality.
Then I met my roommate Stacy. A straight guy who had never struggled with homosexuality, but had his own brand of struggle on the planet. His dream was to enrich the lives of young straight men, by taking on wilderness adventures. Our desires were very similar. I believe that it was a desire that God birthed in both of our hearts. We let our dreams sit in the "parking lot" for years. We did a few mini adventures here and there, but for the most part, the grand reveal would be years in the making.
Fast Forward to June 23, 2013. Today was the first foray into making both of our dreams a reality. While attending the last Exodus Freedom Conference in Orange County, California, we decided to take a hike. We took a big group of Exodus Men on a Hike in the foothills along the California coast, near Laguna Beach.
We climbed hills and carried rocks to simulate burdens that we would carry for each other in real life. There were those who walked ahead. Those who kept an eye on stragglers. And those who marched to the beat of their own drum. We lost sight of one another every once in awhile and eventually made it back to home base. Point is, We did it all together. It was nothing special and something extraordinary all at once. Stacy was the mastermind behind the adventure. At the top we paused for a moment to build a monument with our rocks and offer our lives to God in prayer.
Praise God for the culmination of two dreams in the lives of so many great men. Thank you God for these men. Thank You God, for these lives brought out of darkness and into Your life giving Light.
Sad heart, Perseverant Spirit
I persistently talk about freedom from homosexuality, because I have experienced it. The “gay” life can be described as a life with many perceived “freedoms”, riddled with exponential bondage. If you really know me, you know my life is dedicated to people wanting to leave homosexuality behind. My drive comes from a loving heart and similar life experiences. I’m not one of those Christians looking to keep gays sequestered. I am a Christian who left homosexuality with the help of Jesus Christ. My walk out of homosexuality is where I experienced the transforming power of Jesus the most. I chose to see my life through Jesus colored glasses and not through the tainted lens of my broken sexuality. Walking out of homosexuality is the most difficult challenge I’ve faced. It will be for you, too. The world will be against you. Churches and ‘loving’, misguided Christians will stand as obstacles to the truth of the Bible. On occasion, my homosexual attractions howl like a hurricane, but they have faded considerably over the years. There are moments when I’ve felt like giving up, but doesn’t everyone have the potential to slip back to comfortable places of sin from our past. Sexual temptations from my past don’t define my future. The ‘satan’ from 1 Peter 5:8 is still active today.
Homosexuality is a sin. No amount of rewriting or interpretive dances around scripture or palatable PR packaging will change how God views homosexuality. The world may be convinced through coercive, slanderous campaigns funded by the gay agenda that gay relationships are right. They may even stand by as people adopt a hybridized life of homosexuality and Christianity, but at the end of the day God will ultimately judge our lives.
My friend Jay said it best today in a daily devotion.
“No one thinks they are going to hell. Even the wicked believe they are in good shape. Why? …they worship a "god" who validates and does not judge. It is easy to excuse evil [sin] when you can define it on your terms, and declare that your terms are also His. However, Scripture says that God's ways are not our ways.”
I find this so revealing of todays, modern-day gay culture. In many ways they are redefining faith and rewriting the bible so that it caters to their own lives all the while weaving a divisive doctrine of sin into the fabric of our lives that God will never sign off on. God doesn’t hate gays, as those at the Westboro Baptist would have us believe, but He has a divine, sexual design for our lives that doesn’t include homosexuality.
I stand firm today with the scriptures of 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 that says “Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men, 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
I praise God that there is hope for change and deliverance from every sin, including my sin of homosexuality. 1 Corinthians 9:11 says, “And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”
Since I walked out of homosexuality in December of 1998, I’ve had a few key figures in my life fall away from God. Some from temptation and others were deceived. Using my life as a template, I would say they failed to surrender fully to Christ and deny themselves daily. One such mentor wrote a book that introduced me to Exodus. He recently issued a public apology for his involvement with the Ex-gay movement. This will indeed affect the lives of many. I simply take it as a sign of the times. The bible says that in the last days, even the elect of the Lord will be deceived. I made a decision to follow Jesus at all costs. I agreed to put my faith in Him, not in men. I have some pretty, amazing mentors in the faith, but I take whatever they say to the scriptures and to bible.
The rhetoric coming from gay Christians and from many mainstream denominations these days is a combination of skewed biblical truth and political correctness. Jesus said to daily pick up your cross, deny yourself and follow Him. Each one of us is responsible for our own lives. I believe that those who have fallen away from the truth that Exodus had preached openly for many years will answer for their own lives and for those they have led astray. For now, I stand as one who walked away from homosexuality with the help of Jesus Christ. If you ever hear anything different from me, you will know that I, too, have been deceived.
Divine Design or Secular Opinion.
As I pondered the events of yesterday's equality debates, I remembered my personal history with the gay marriage debate. In 1995 I was planning a commitment ceremony of my own with my partner. Gay marriage at that point was a rarity. My father was the only voice of Christian reason at that point. He counseled me not to go through with the ceremony as it wasn't in God's plan for me. At that very moment and for subsequent years after, I hated my father and labelled him ignorant. I couldn't see his point of view. It didn't make sense to me, because I was immersed and literally encapsulated in my sin. Years later, I applaud my father for having the guts to represent Jesus to me, while everyone else represented "love" and acceptance, thus signing my spiritual death certificate. The scripture that comes to mind is "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." (Proverbs 27:5, 6 NIV)As I see the red equals sign of solidarity go up all over Facebook, I am shocked by some people and not surprised by others. It saddens me for many reasons. I understand the pull of homosexuality all too well. I understand how it can seem genetic, because we've been conditioned as young boys by a society tainted with gay ideals. They force the ideal that we are to identify those feelings of being different than other boys to mean we are gay. I believe gay men were born sensitive, artistic and creative and then environmental and developmental factors further alienated these boys to take on a gay identity. Proverbs describes the gay life and the belief that it is genetic best. "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death." (Proverbs 14:12 NIV). First, I want to be like Jesus to my gay community. He identified all forms of sexual expression outside the union of a man and a woman as sin. Jesus offers forgiveness and deliverance of sin. Second I want to be like my dad, who in the face of losing my respect, told me the truth of God's word. I'm not someone who was casually gay. I'm not in denial. I'm not wracked with self hatred. I have been delivered from homosexuality and its many promises of "freedom". I know the truth now. I knew it all along. It just took me a while to act. I know that gay marriage is more of a gateway to bondage than a gateway to freedom and equality. I can't "love" my gay friends like the rest of the world, because I have experienced the pitfalls that kind of "freedom" brings. I believe in equality for all people, but I won't stand by preserving my popularity,while good people stumble into satan's trap. "The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble. (Proverbs 4:18, 19 NIV). I have to stand before God and account for my action or inaction. You don't get in the water and console a drowning victim until they perish, so as not to offend them by saying they can't swim. You perform a rescue. There are people in the gay community in need of prayer and rescue, not mind boggling, sin enabling "love". And remember Christians, know your enemy. It's satan. Not the gay community.